75%-Semi-Forthnightly Writing Competition: OVER!

[Akatosh]

(The topic is a little more challenging than usually, thus the three-week duration. Unless there's little or no interest, of course, in which case we'll switch to a "normal" compo.)

Ah, yes, the fictional world - while it's definitly neccessary for a story (you need sort of a backdrop for your action), it's often woefully neglected by non-utopian literature. Well, it's time to shine the spotlight on the background for once!

The task is thus: Write a short story - or rather, the "expository chapter" to a longer story - that engages in worldbuilding - by which I mean a text that shows what kind of world the story takes place in, what it would be like to live in there, what made headlines recently; that sort of thing. Remember to show, not tell - we do not want infodumps here, although it's ok to briefly pause the narrative, as long as you can work it into the flow of the story.

For inspiration, take a look at the first two pages of Penny Arcade's ongoing Automata standalone comic (here and here). Virtually no exposition and little explanatory dialogue, but it does a very decent job at showing what that world is like.

That said, good luck! As usually, there will be trophies if there are four or more entries.

[AtelierGames]

The Unseen Island

All of those vessels sailing along the blue... are they blinded by the spindrift in their wake? The crew fail to see this gem of an island pass them by. Their eyes are not fit for beauty. At least, not beauty such as this.

It's such a captivating sight, seeing the crystal main breath over the sand, which glisters like powdered gold. What's out there but the clouds, sailing on the sky from horizon corner to corner? Just open ocean and scores of oblivious ships.

The mark of human inhabitance comes from the temples of worship - gargantuan buildings they are, with ornate impressions, crafted by expert and long-gone hands. Approach their gaping mouths with caution; for though bright idols can be seen gleaming in their bowels, the white bones of unfortunates can also be spied. Who can tell how long the stones have been left to tumble? The fireplaces left with cold hearts? The snaring vines and weather-worn faces can tell.

O! the jungle: that tangled disarray of palms and plants! Impervious to light and tread, yet radiating that awful jungle din. Hear the swell of the soprano in the canopy, rustling their vibrant tailcoats. At night, an outsider ponders what all the endless chatter could mean. But the natives knew: it's a song exalting their island.

And when you see the white sails upon the skyline, you'll call for the wind to spoil their path. Beauty cannot be divided and shared; at least, not beauty such as this.

[Eggie]

Sounds good. Can it be a world I've already written stories about.

[Vince Twelve]

Excuse the cross post, but Atelier, Eggie, and anyone else who is into writing activities and hasn't already done so, should sign up for the AGS chain story.  That is all.   

[Akatosh]

Alright, glad to hear we might actually get some entries. 

As for writing about a world you've already written stories about, it's ok as long as it isn't too well known. So unless you're secretly Tolkien or Rowling, it's alright. 

[Find Therma]

I'll add my name onto the list of those whom plan on entering - providing I think my finished work is good enough. 

[Wyz]

Actually I really like the theme of this competition, I hope I can find some time to finish an entry.

Update:
Well I'm still working on something, I expect to have it finished on time.

[Akatosh]

Just a heads-up: A little over a week left now, no entries so far. I hope you're just taking time to make them truly refined or somesuch. 

[Find Therma]

My first ever entry into this competition is complete. 
Hopefully it fits the theme well enough. I can visualise the type of world it's set in so hopefully I've conveyed that.

----------------------

A stranger arrives on a planet after drifting through space for more years than he cares to remember. Little has happened during his journey however he possesses a strong feeling that this is about to change. Every so often a world comes along which is interesting, a world which appears serene yet has an underlying threat of…unrest. A planet which is home to a people that appear universally happy. A planet where any moment the peaceful lives of those inhabiting it are going to explode. Yes, this is a place he could settle down for a while. Watch as the very fabric of the world is ripped apart. Maybe he could even help push things along a little?

He sits on a rock-face observing the beings go about their daily lives. He recognises them, not personally of course, but as a race. They are human, settlers on a planet which wasn’t made for them. They’d adapted to the planetary conditions over the years. Originally they’d walked around in those big suits but now, generations down the line and the suits long gone, it was as if they were meant to be here. Everyone looks comfortable and relaxed, at ease with the surroundings. He recognises the differences between this planet and the other they occupy, a place he’d visited a long time ago. Gone are the sprawling metropolises and extravagant structures, the seedy alleyways and rubbish ridden streets. Instead, everything here looks like it’s been kept purposefully small scale and simple, clean but unimaginative. Every building in sight is made of the same grey stone that dominates much of the landscape. Most are dome shaped and there appears to be only a few varying sizes. The place isn’t dull however. It has a vibrancy which seemingly emanates from its residents, descendents of those whom took radical steps to change their lives.

The temperature rises to a slightly uncomfortable level, seemingly coinciding with the reduced number of passers by. Although the heat is of no consequence to the stranger, he gets up from his position on the rocks. The faint daylight provides enough illumination to the outside world for artificial lighting not to be needed. It allows him to make out a sheltered gathering in the distance. He walks towards it, slowly and with curiosity. As he approaches, he sees the crowd staring up at a screen. It looks out of place in the more primitive looking surroundings and is broadcasting someone making a speech. The individual talks of kindness and humility, about the pioneers to this planet who wanted to create a better world, something that was unachievable on the motherland. He talks of poverty and indulgence, has to explain the concepts of these things to the people who have little or no grasp of what they are. Most of all however, he talks of happiness. He smiles, the crowd smile back. His eyes though, they are cold. He is one of them, not a human, one of the others.

The stranger smiles too, not at the screen, but to himself. He knows something the humans don’t. Something they are completely oblivious to, made more intriguing because it is in front of their very own eyes. Aside from the one making the address, the stranger had already seen ten of them. Walking around unnoticed, exchanging pleasantries and going about their apparently normal lives. He can see through them though, see what they really are, likes what he sees. The people on this planet, kind-hearted and idealistic as they are, will soon realise that not everyone or everything is like them. And it’s going to be soon…very soon.

----------------------

With this being a prologue, the first chapter would then introduce the main human protagonist.

[Akatosh]

Three days left, and just one entry so far? Come on, people... make that two. Well, at least some competition. I'll make sure to read yours as well, AG; thanks for entering.

Oh, and thanks for your entry, Find Therma, and congratulations on finishing it! I haven't managed to read it yet, but expect a review. Painkillers make mind go all blurry-blur but Akatosh want to die when not take them. 

/EDIT: Ooh, sorry, AG; I missed that one.

[AtelierGames]

I should probably say that my entry is hiding at the top, just in case it's missed in voting, or whatever.

[Sinitrena]

And here comes entry number 3.
I got carried away and it turned out rather long, too long to post here, so click on this link to read.

[Akatosh]

Thanks for entering, it's hugely appreciated! Seems like we're going to see some competition... 

[Dualnames]

Ah, the Milky Way. A great place to live in, cherish in, have some sex in , but always take precautions. It has so many planets to visit, so many asteroids to ride, so many suns to watch explode, and most definitely it requires a less distracting name for a galaxy, but that's another story.

 But let's take a deep dive into one of the most unimportant solar systems, perhaps the most unimportant, where a race of very violent, quite stupid, and really really annoying aliens, that feel like illing everybody in the galaxy, if they could just find a way to travel there, live. Those aliens are calling themselves humans. Damn, somebody must sack those that pick these names.

Anyway, and in this solar system, among other 8 or 9 planets (the number of the planets changes every year, because "humans" have very little knowledge of the stellar laws, and therefore have problems distinguishing a planet from a meteor), lies a really ugly planet. "Humans" consider it as the most beautifull thing they can set eyes on. They seem to also have little knowledge of art.

In that planet, the really ugly one, that's where you'll live my son!

You, the son of Jor-El!!

Kal-el is your name my son!!

Damn will they name you something really stupid...At least their women have boobies..

Well, time for me to die my son, have fun there!!

[José Luiz]

I
Jour de congé *

   — Dieu! A holiday! This one will be very busy… I should start working now, or else I won’t be able to finish everything in time.

   Mme. Ronty, née Darmignac, was just in front of her hotel, Chalet Ronty. It was a foggy morning of July, and at that time there still weren’t many people in the streets.

   Avenue Georges d’Astrand, where the hotel is located, is one of the main avenues of Klamsoun, a famous ski-resort. It starts at Place de l’Académie, right besides the Gare Principale, through which many trains pass everyday. Then, the avenue crosses almost all Downtown, goes up on a hill, passes in front of Chalet Ronty and finishes some blocks after it, on another square – Place de la Reine.

   That lazy winter morning was a special one: since it was the queen’s birthday, the whole kingdom would celebrate it, and Klamsoun was chosen to be one of the main celebration points in the south. Even Léopold Glimounsy, the old marquee, would help in the festivities.

   Some hotel employees had already arrived when Mme. Ronty opened the front door. She said “Bonjour” to them, crossed the long lounge and reached her office. As a matter of fact, that office was more a place to relax, because she really enjoyed working with the concierge and talking to the guests. It was not only a pleasure to her, but also a way to know many places in the world – since she herself couldn’t travel very often, due to her work.

   Although called “chalet”, Chalet Ronty is a huge hotel, the most important of Klamsoun. Founded in 1827 by Évariste Ronty (an ancestor of Jean-Jacques, the dead husband of Mme. Ronty), it was totally reformed fifty years ago, and now it’s five times bigger than the original building.

   Mme. Ronty let the purse in the office, took her badge (in which was written “Mme. Hariclée Ronty. Puis-je vous aider?” **), went to the main reception and, after saying a jolly “Bonjour” to the concierge, started checking all the reservations to the day. She stopped at one of them, because she could hardly believe that such person would be arriving so soon.

---+---

I hope there aren't many mistakes!

_______
* French: "Holiday"
** French: "Mrs. Hariclée Ronty. May/Can I help you?"

[Akatosh]

Well, great. Now I'll have to re-activate what little knowledge of the French language I have left, and I'll have to draw trophies.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ENTERING. I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF AND THAT YOU DON'T SUFFER ANY ACCIDENTS. 

[Wyz]

I took this time some time to read it through, I hope stupid typo's are eliminated
I could write some more, but I think this will make a good first chapter
enjoy!

The goods

The flickering light of the fire was cast upon their faces. Their shadows where long shaped and looked like dark pathways back into the night. They where sitting around the campfire just looking at the flames and minutes long nobody spoke. In a place like this simply sitting and relaxing was all a person would need. A narrow shape grabbed for his pocket.
   “Say, what have you there, Jay” one of the taller shapes spoke.
The narrow shape put the object in front of him; the fire reflected on its metallic finish.
   “A communicator? What is the use…”
   “I just like to look at it now and then, that’s all” Jay spoke.
   “Ha! I didn’t know you where emotionally attached.” Another voice said.
   “Yeah well, whatever.” Jay put the gizmo back in his pocket.

The warmth of the fire was comfortable, but that was not the reason why they had left town. They were looking for something, but not for something in particularly; Scavengers, that was what they were mostly called by the town dwellers, but they liked to think about themselves as a group on an important mission. They behaved like it too. The people that believed them had their reasons to: they always made good deals with the people that knew the good cause, whether they knew it or not.
They called themselves miners, miners for the goods of welfare. They traveled from town to town, never staying longer then a week. Not a lot of people traveled the county, but those that did were wise enough to do it in groups. Jay was the youngest and perhaps also the smartest of them. His delicate physical showed he was likely to survive by his wits other then by his strength. Although he was the youngest of the lot, he witnessed a good half of the big change. The oldest of the crew was Hank; he was born ten years after the first signs. He was a big hairy guy with the annoying habit of beginning his sentences with the word ‘say’. Hank often put people to work, while himself he was a tad lazy, but people could not help to feel safe around him. Next to him were ‘the brothers’ which were by the look of it not really brothers. Sal was as wide as he was long, had (except for some fuss along his ears) no hear on his head, big lips and a flat nose. He would always wear the same vest (although the holes in it seemed to move), from which two muscular (or fatty) arms sprouted. His so called brother Pepe was long and somewhat thin. His black hair looked as if it exploded from his head; he had a pointy nose and rabbit teeth. For some reason he always wore trousers that where to big and needed suspenders to keep them in place. They knew each other since childhood. Then there was Fay, she looked absolutely stunning. She had a delightful character, the kind that made you forget about her appearance instantaneously. She had the worse accent and the least charming table manners of them all; was very convincing in her act, which often was not fully thought through. Finally there was Alek, which they called L. He joined them recently and since he didn’t speak very much, they knew little about him. He had an average posture and a forgetful face. His black hair looked shiny and stiff as if it was glued to his cranium.

   “Say, what are you doing there, Pepe”
   “You know what I am doing, writing my journal.”
   “On toilet paper…”
   “Hey, it works, that’s what matters.”
Hank and Fay started laughing .
   “At least I still know how to write.” Pepe continued.
   “I do too” Hank defended.
Fay started laughing again. “y’call ‘ose cribbly ’ittle etchings writing?”
   “Say, have you seen yer own Fay?”
   “I’m nut talking ‘bout mine.”
   “I was never too fond of handwriting, but now I’m happy I know how to” Sal spoke slowly.
   “Surely we’re all.” Hank said.
   “I ‘avn’t ‘ad the need to write sumthing down fo’ years.”
   “How long is this going to take, I’m tired” Jay said.
   “Say, he’s right, let’s make base, tomorrow we have a lot to do on that rubble.”

The party agreed and crawled with their sleeping gear near the fire. The light of dawn would be their morning call.

Not much later when the sun first showed its face on the horizon, Jay was drawn from his sleep. Not much later the rest also woke. It was always an early day for the miners; out in the waste lands it could easily get very hot, and so did the remains they would scratch trough. Mostly of the time they found them a place in the shades at noon and take a shut eye.
The miners had found an excellent place to scavenge that day. It took them four days of traveling through the waste lands to get there, but that meant it was worth it. Nobody else would have taken the effort, all the more reason they wanted to go there. They felt obligated to mine there.

   “ ’ow coud people eve’ ‘ave lived ‘ere.” Fay wondered.
   “Say, what do ye’ think?”
   “I d’no”
   “There used to be water here, a lot of it” Hank replied.
   “Yes, and when the pumps stopped working, every thing just dried up.” Jay added.
   “Where ‘at came fom?”
   “The river” Pepe said. “It came from the river by numerous long pipes under ground.”
   “There are still there you know.” Sal added.
   “The river” L said dreamy “I’ve been there, it’s nice.”
   “That’s a long way from here, but I like to go there in a few years.” Jay said.
   “Say, shall we go and find some?”

The team gave a positive reply and headed into the piles of rubble. Between the bricks and boards all sort of house hold commodities could be found. It was absolutely worthless and that was the reason the inhabitant had left it behind. Everything they found useful they would have taken with them. This did not include the miners.

   “Hey I found some!”
L notified his crewmen. In his left hand he held a dusty crushed up cassette player. “Look inside the compartment.” Hank moved towards him.
   “These are useless.”
   “What? Why?”
   “Say, they have been inside equipment for years, they drain when they are mounted.”
   “Wait!” Pepe joined them. “Sometimes they don’t.”
   “Well my experience is…”
   “Let’s weigh them!”
   “Well, all right then.”
Pepe took a simple spring scale from his pocket and put the contents in a handkerchief tied to the end of the scale.
   “There is still something left in them, but I don’t know if we can sell them.”
Pepe gave the contents back to L, who put them in a pouch he carried in his pocket.

   “Found sum!”
This time it was Fay, she was holding two metal tubes the size of a small thumb.
   “And ‘ese shur are full.”

[Akatosh]

Alright, this should make for a nice competition. I'll give you guys... let's say five more hours, then voting shall commence.

VOTEY TIME!

[AtelierGames]

I really like how Find Therma has described his world. The writing really flows, so you can't stop reading half way through. So, my vote goes to him. They're all excellent, mind you.

[Dualnames]

I was between Wyz and Atelier Games, so I'm voting for Wyz(must vote), very good entries everyone!